The BEST thing EVER

I am a little upset that this event is being held at the mall where I work, on my day off:


This is so unbelievably hilarious, I don't even know where to begin my commentary. Are the races broken down by weight? By age? By ambulatory ability? Are babies going to arrive sporting headbands and carpet burns from weeks of practice? Do the prizes include reserved spots at prestigious daycares?

All I can say is...AMAZING.